Picking Daisies

I found this story online tonight. A 85 year old woman named Nadine Stair was asked what she would do if she could live her life all over again. I love her answer.


I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I'd have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair,
85 years old.


I'm gonna start picking more daisies.

Random

Random photo post!

This is the first picture I took in Kauai. I took it from the balcony of our room. Right after taking this picture my camera battery died. And I didn't have the charger. It was in the backseat of my car. In Roanoke. Virginia.

For the past two years my father has asked that we not exchange Christmas presents. Instead, he picks an adventure that we all go on and pay our own way. Last year it was a white water rafting trip down the James River. This year it was a hot air balloon ride. We had Christmas in May this year, and I took this picture of the back of my sons head on the trip. I'm a little worried next year my dad will have us jumping out of planes.

These pictures are for Melissa... Because she asked for them... The cutsie towel arrangements left by Marnie and her mom. The top picture I've mastered. I learned that the first week of my Towel arranging 101 class. The bottom one looks easy. But the difficulty is keeping the towel folded and placing just the right balance of animal weight in just the right places so that the fold stays folded.

Its also easier to do with a fresh, not tampered with towel. Once the towel becomes used, it looses some of its folding staying power.

12 years ago today

**Warning**extremely long winded post ahead**

It's been twelve years since my mother passed from this world to the next. Every time another year goes by it seems like it couldn't have been so long ago. My hubby says that's good. It means my memories are still vivid and strong. And they are.


This is a picture of a picture of my mom. I don't have many pictures of her. She was one of those people who took lots of pictures, but was never in any. She was an elementary school secretary, and this picture was drawn (in color pencil believe it or not) by a bus driver at her school. It hung at the school for several years, until I snuck in and took it. (I've always wondered why the bus driver was still driving a bus, because this picture is amazingly done!)


My folks were visiting my sister over the July 4th holiday in 1995. My sister lived in Alabama at the time, and her fist son was just 5 months old. My parents first grandchild. Mom asked me to take the drive with them from Virginia to Alabama, but I was dating 2 guys at the time and just had too much going on (*I was an idiot child in other words*) to take off for a long weekend. I try not to regret that, but its hard.





They had a wonderful long weekend, and headed home to Virginia on July 5th. That day, back home in Virginia, I was having car troubles, and ended up at my parents house with a car that wouldn't start. It was summer vacation for my mom, so I decided to wait at the house till they got home and see if she wouldn't mind me borrowing her car till I got mine fixed. I waited a good long time. I called my sister around 8pm that night wondering where they were, and she said they should be home anytime. I waited an hour or so more, left a note that I was stealing mom's car, and went home to my apartment. It never, ever crossed my mind that anything was wrong.





The next day at work, I get a call from my Aunt in North Carolina. We do a little small talk, and I don't wonder - Hey? How did she get my work number? or Hey? Why would she be calling me at work, when she's never called me- anywhere? Then she tells me that there was a car accident. A car crossed the median on interstate 85, went air born and basically landed on the hood of my parents car.. while they were going 65 miles per hour. Dad got banged up a little.. his knee is hurt, and he has cuts and bruises. Mom's in intensive care, but shes doing okay. No, there's no need to drive down, we will keep you informed.. blah blah blah...





Off the phone, I sit there stunned, speechless and in tears. Smokebreak.. major smokebreak needed. My sister calls while I smoking, which I probably did for at least a half hour. She had called the hospital and been told by the nurse that Mom wasn't all that okay. Her eyes were open though. What? Totally confused we decide all kids must converge on North Carolina as quick as possible. I got a ride from My X-boyfriend, because I was told I could not drive and that was probably a good thing. My sister and brother flew in. We all met at the hospital.





I was the first one there and found my Dad in a hospital gown, in a wheelchair, in the intensive care waiting room with a few Aunts. I walk in and don't have words. My dad pretends? to not know me. I don't know to this day if he was in shock or trying to be funny. My Aunt sits me down and I finally hear whats going on with my mom. She is in a coma, and is having mini strokes on both sides of her brain. My grandfather had quite a few strokes, some mini, some not so mini, so I kindof thought I knew what that could do to a person. Even so, I was not prepared for what I found when I was able to go in and visit with her. My immediate thought was.. shes not here. I mean, shes right there, but shes not here. The nurse my sister talked to was right, her eyes were open, but they saw nothing.





Over the next few weeks, she didn't seem to get any better, or any worse. My father had to have surgery on his knee, so he was not able to walk very well, nor could he drive. The company I worked for, and still work for, was absolutely wonderful during this time. They let me work part-time from the North Carolina location, because I was bouncing back and forth between Virginia and North Carolina. My sister eventually had to go back to Alabama, and My brother back to Florida. I stayed with Dad. I got out of my apartment lease and moved my stuff back to my parents house. At some point my mom had to have a tracheotomy. Why they had to do that I cant remember, but I remember us not really wanting it done.





The first time I went back to Virginia, I walked in the house and saw the note I had left back on July 5th. I had written it on a Kentucky Fried Chicken receipt. That's were I picked up dinner on the night of July 5th. It was weird to come back and see the note that was left and never read. It was even weirder to see the time stamp on the receipt. It was 5:31, which according to reports was the same time as the car accident. I knew exactly where I was when it happened. The earth should have moved. I should have gotten chills or a feeling or something when I was sitting in that drive thru at KFC, but I didn't.





Eventually they called my mom 'stable'. Which is laughable, because she was still in a coma, with her eyes open as she had been for weeks. They decided it was time for her to go home. It was arranged for her to be moved to a rehabilitation hospital in Virginia. About this time, my sister quit her job, found another in Virginia and moved. Just like that.





July 22th my mom was loaded into an ambulance for the trip. Dad and I thanked my Aunt for letting us take over her house for almost a month, and took off for Virginia as well. We all got to the new hospital and got settled. The nurses asked us to bring in music and pictures and anything my mother loved to have in her room. I ripped the house apart and brought in everything I could find I thought she would want.



July 23rd they took the tube out of her neck.. good day. She looked a little more like mom without it.



July 24th mom looked at the nurse when she called her name. Okay she yelled her name.. very loud, and my mom's eyes moved. Did she hear it? I don't know.



July 25th I swear she squeezed my hand..



July 26th Something happened. My memory gets blurry here. I don't know what exactly happened, but all the sudden the doctors don't think she will make it through the night. My dad and I stay all night in this little room waiting for what we don't want to happen. We didn't stay with her, which looking back is weird. We would each go in and visit for a while throughout the night, but we always came back out into this little room.



July 27th She made it through the night. Dad wants a shower, so we head to the house in the morning and get cleaned up. We get lunch somewhere. Then dad wants to get his hair cut. I thought this was odd - but I took him. (He still couldn't drive) Then we got back on the road to the hospital. Dad's in the back - I truly taxied him around for about 2 months. I'm driving, listening to the radio. This song comes on. American Pie. By Don Mclean.


So bye-bye,
miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I die.
"this’ll be the day that I die."




Okay, so I know this song isn't really about death per se, but as I was rolling down the road singing this aloud, I stopped, and thought to myself, or prayed maybe its called, that if it was my mom's time to go, that she let go, and stop fighting. If she was going to live out the rest of her life without being able to talk or move, she should let go. I didn't want to let her go, but I didn't want her to suffer anymore. I was still thinking all this as I parked at the hospital. I got out of the car and started helping dad out. His pager went off. The one the hospital had given him in case they needed to get in touch. We looked at each other and knew. This will be the day she lets go.




The next week time stood still. The world went on, by I stood still and just watched it swirl. We had memorials in Richmond, and in Roanoke , and I even remember saying to someone that if we could just keep doing this (having memorials) forever I'd be okay because she was there.. in a pretty wood box, but there.




The cause of death was sepsis. Probably caused by the tracheotomy, or the removal of it.
The strokes were caused by the sudden and harsh impact of the flying car into my parents car and the major jolt on her body. They said that tiny cholesterol? particles broke free and moved up through the veins in her neck and caused blockages.



My mom has physically missed alot of things in my life, and I have missed her being there for alot of thing. I have missed her period. But I feel her. I know shes watching. Sometimes I think she guides me a little as well. My 9 year old niece is named after her, and she tells me that Grandma Carol comes to visit her at night sometimes and they just talk. about stuff. She told me the day of my wedding that she talked to Grandma Carol the day before and invited her to the wedding. I told her that was very nice, but she knew she didn't need an invitation. She said "Yeah, she said she was planning to come already." And she did.

Things I can blame on Marnie

1. Totally raising the house cleaning expectations bar of my new hubby. We got home at 3:30 am after flying and driving for 24 hours straight - we were grumpy, groggy, and virtually asleep, but he still walked in the house, looked around, and said, "WOW - this place is CLEAN!" (as if it never had been before.)

2. The exploded Coors Light can in my freezer. I would blame this on her mom, but Marnie has can's in the freezer history, so I'm thinking she had something to do with it.

3. Turning my hubby (and myself) into alcoholics. What happened to that bathtub party you were going to have? She left all the beer/wine left over from the wedding in my garage - and I SWEAR she musta bought more.

4. The class I've enrolled in to learn how to fold towels in cutesy ways. They have it a the community college... really they do. My son insisted since I tried to shape shift the towels in the bathroom to match how Y'ALL left them and failed.

5. Totally ruining my expensive gift giving to my groomsguys and bridesgals by putting these adorable little bows with flowers (she stole from flowers i was SAVING to put on my mothers GRAVE!) on the presents. Everybody ripped the bows off and kept them and threw the presents away like they were trash. (I have to admit I kept one too, they were adorable.. but sheesh people! I spent money on that stuff, and time, and.. thoughts!)

6. Making my next trip to visit cost double. There is no way I'm going to be allowed out the door if I'm heading to Vancouver without my son. He ADORES her and her mom. I don't think child abduction is needed. He would willingly leave me and spend the rest of his life with Marn.

7. Ruining my salad. I was feeling like a rabbit the other day - post honeymoon - and pulled out all the fresh veggies I had just bought at the store, and went to chopping. Got everything in the big bowl, and went hunting for my toppings. Cheesie fried onion thingies - sounds weird.. but ohhh so good, bacon bits, and.... wheres that... hmm cant find... where the hell... OH MY GOD! Marnie ate all my RANCH DRESSING!

8. Making me cry on my wedding day. I got through the stressful pre wedding craziness, the wedding, and the entire reception with no tears. I have to say goodbye to her and pow.. spring a leak.

9. Making my wedding day the most beautiful day of my life. Marn and her mom worked their tails off for me - from decorating, to picking out the alcohol, wrapping presents, lugging a load of crap to Roanoke - and back, watching my son, keeping me sane, finding earrings when we had an "I'm NOT walking down the isle without earrings!" issue with one of the bridesmaids, consoling children that bump their heads 10 minutes before the wedding, keeping everyone where they should be, taking beautiful pictures... the list goes on and on. I had no idea how much I was going to make them do until they got here and said "Do you need any help?" But the most important thing she did was be there. And it made my special day - even special-er.

are U smarter than a kindergartner?

This week is U week in my sons class. The home work for the week was sent home on Monday.

Monday night he had to color 8 small pictures that were printed on a piece of paper. All things starting with U.

Tuesday night he had to cut these pictures out.

Tonight he had to sort the pictures and glue them onto another piece of paper under "Short u words" or "Long u words".

I looked over the pictures. A unicorn, umpire, umbrella, united states, a picture of stairs and an arrow pointing up them - so that's up....

me: "short and long, well up is short for sure, and united states is the longest of the long."

me in my head: **is unicorn short or long? how short is short? how long is long?**

me: " Have you been sorting like this at school?"

little guy: "no"

me: "did your teacher go over long and short and how long long is, or how short short is?"

little guy: **weird look**

me: "well, okay, up is short -- **moves stair with arrow picture to the left**
and United States is long -- **move it over to the right**
and umbrella is long -- **move over with the united states**
and undershirt is long --- ** moved over with umbrella**
so then we got unicorn, umpire, uniform, do you think they are short or long?"

little guy: hesitates... looks down at my sorting work, back up at me
"mom..... its the sound."

*Silence*

"not how long"

*blink*

"like Unicorn is long, umbrella is short"

me: "oh..*hehehe* doh... *hehehehe* ok... *cant contain my giggle*
you just go ahead and do what you need to and don't listen to me... "

Smack'in back

I thought since evil Marnie was hittin Melissa while she's down, I'd help her out and throw in a few surprise BBW hits on Canada. Give Melissa a little time to get her next plan of attack together...



Let's play the which one is me game first. I think I was about in 3rd or fourth grade when this was taken.

One of the girls in this picture is still a very close friend of mine. We've grown up together - kindergarten through college. Its nice to have friends that have known you so long, and still like you.

Baby baby time. Which one's the baby? The lion pictured I got from Santa on my very first christmas.

I still have him. Here he is in all his glory today. A little strung out, and half blind, but he's hang'in on.



Last but not least.... clogging at the county fair in 1984. I hated it - and loved it - at the same time.

Fairy's and Fast cars

The little guy lost his first tooth this weekend!! Tonight I finally got him to pose for a picture. These things must be documented! The Toof Fairy left him a dollar and a sword bubble thingy. Very excited he was. The first thing he did with it was open it in the den and spill half the blue bubble sticky stuff out on the carpet. (joy joy!)

Sunday we took off to the races. I don't know what the race was called, cause I don't pay attention to these things. I do know it was in Danville, VA at VIR, and I saw a bunch of guys from the Speed channel there talking in front of cameras, so it must of been a big deal...




At the race, the blue bubbly sword thing was put to good use - Until it was used as a baseball bat, and a soccer ball was used as the baseball - I guess you use what you have handy. Anyway, not long after mom said "be careful or your going to break that..." it broke. I shoulda kept my mouth shut.

He's planning on writing a letter to the Toof Fairy to ask for another one when his next 2 toofs come out. 2 - so he has a spare - in case he breaks another one. Thinking ahead...

Here's a pic of me and my hubby to be. He looks mad, but I think the sun is just in his eyes (and he hates - ABSOLUTELY hates getting his picture taken). My son took the picture and I was surprised he didn't cut our heads off!!

The race was fun. Before it started we got to walk around and see all the cars up close and personal. My son and I picked our favorite car purely based on the paint job. Black and Gold. My hubby to be picked his care purely based on the make. He's a ford man. The Ford didn't finish - towards the end of the race, we just never saw it again. Crashed - or engine trouble - it just vanished. We could only see about a 10th of the track. Our Black and Gold car came in like 15th out of 20. We'll do better next time....